How can shy people become outgoing

Record your experiences of shyness and your attempts to be outgoing. Write down how you feel and as many details as you can remember. You can look at your journal later to see if any strong patterns emerge. Make this a daily habit, if possible. Incorporate it into your routine.

Give yourself a treat for completing a journal entry to solidify it into your daily routine. Be honest with yourself. If you catch yourself trying to rationalize what you're saying, chances are, you could dig a bit deeper into the true meaning of what you're trying to express. Instead, try and state it as plainly as possible. Pay special attention to how you feel. Mark your emotions when you feel them.

This way you can take control of your feelings. Watch for isolating habits. What you choose to do can have a big impact on how much you interact with other people. Staying at home instead of going out means there will be very little opportunity to socialize. When you do this all the time, you get used to it. Ditch your mobile phone. Put it in the freezer or microwave no cooking for a few hours, until you forget about it.

You're more likely to talk to other people. Method 2. Reframe your perspective. Understand that no one thinks about you as much as you do. It's liberating when you realize that no one dwells on every little mistake you make. They're thinking about themselves and their mistakes. Keep this in mind, as it may help you to feel more comfortable. Seek situations that require social interaction. If you're trying to be more outgoing, the best way to ensure your success is if you go out and put yourself into different situations where you have the opportunity to interact with other people.

Put yourself out there. Go to events or places where you are likely or ensured social interaction. Join a weekly club. Look online or call your local community center. By spending time with people based upon a shared interest, you are more likely to have something to talk about. Pick a hobby, like martial arts or team sports. I used to see rejection as a sign of failure to be avoided at all costs, but they always saw it as a sign of personal growth.

To them, getting rejected means that you take the opportunities life gives you. If you are putting yourself in situations where you might be rejected, you are living life to the fullest. It took me some time to wrap my head around this idea, but it makes sense.

A life lived to the fullest is full of rejections, because the only way to not get rejected is to not take chances.

There are even games you can play to practice dealing with rejection. Two things can happen. I think it stemmed from my time in elementary school, where some of the other kids used to bully me. As a defense against future rejection, I waited for others to be nice toward me before I dared to be nice toward them.

Because I waited for others to be nice toward me first, I came off as distant. People responded by being distant in return. I assumed it was because of my nose. In hindsight, this was illogical. One day, as an experiment, I tried to be warm toward people first. When I dared to be warm first, people were warm back! I never had a problem being my true self when I was with my close friends, but around strangers — especially intimidating ones — I froze up.

My adrenaline levels would spike, and I would go into fight-or-flight mode. A friend of mine, Nils, had the same problem. He tried to overcome it by doing crazy out-of-your-comfort-zone stunts. Laying down on a busy street. These experiments show that you can learn how to be more outgoing fast. It was too exhausting. To become more outgoing and move out of your comfort zone for good, you need to take a more sustainable approach. Try setting small goals that gradually increase in difficulty.

For example, your first goal could be to make eye contact with the barista at your favorite coffee shop the next time you go in. For example, if you feel uneasy when talking to a stranger, you probably try to wrap the conversation up as soon as possible. Every time you feel nervous, try to stay where you are.

The longer you allow yourself to feel nervous, the emptier your nervosity bucket becomes, and the more comfortable you feel. I used to see nervousness as something bad and tried to avoid it. But when I started to stay in social situations for longer, I even started feeling good about being nervous. Being nervous was a sign that my bucket was emptying. Using this method, you can train yourself how to feel less awkward.

If your inner voice is like a critic who puts you down and points out your flaws, you may feel inhibited and self-conscious. These thoughts reflect your self-limiting beliefs. We recommend BetterHelp for online therapy, since they offer unlimited messaging and a weekly session, and is much cheaper than going to an actual therapist's office. They are also cheaper than Talkspace for what you get.

You can learn more about BetterHelp here. Learning to talk to yourself in a kind, compassionate manner can help you challenge these unhelpful thoughts, improve your confidence, and become more outgoing. When an unhelpful belief pops up, ask yourself some questions: [ 11 ]. After asking yourself the questions above, you might realize that the belief stems from your childhood and teen years when people commented on how quiet you are.

If you only talk about facts, your conversations will be dull. Asking questions that encourage the other person to tell you something about themselves will make the conversation more engaging.

For example, if I was talking to someone about rising unemployment figures and the conversation was getting boring, I might say:. What kind of work would you do if you were to change jobs completely? By doing this, the conversation would get more personal and interesting. To be approachable and outgoing, we need to share things about ourselves when we talk to someone. I always used to feel uncomfortable doing this.

I was more comfortable asking questions and getting to know others. Did you grow stuff as well? Are you into fantasy? Where would you wanna live if you could live anywhere? Notice that these examples all encourage back-and-forth conversation. Thoughtful questions and careful sharing helps you get to know someone else and gives them a chance to learn more about you.

Outgoing people use their body language and facial expressions to communicate their interest in other people and to show that they are friendly.

Making eye contact communicates that you are open and receptive to other people. As someone who was nervous and awkward when they were growing up, I know that it can be difficult. You need to move your attention away from yourself and re-focus on what the other person is saying. Click here to read more about how to improve your eye contact.

Humans smile to show that we have positive intentions. When I felt uncomfortable, I used a fake smile, or I forgot to smile altogether. But outgoing people have natural smiles, so you need to learn how to smile in an authentic, natural way. Go to a mirror and try producing a genuine smile. Pay attention to what a real smile feels like. Try to avoid closed body language, such as crossing your arms or holding something over your stomach. These gestures signal that you feel nervous, annoyed, or vulnerable.

For more tips, see this guide to confident body language. High energy people appear more confident, dynamic, warm, and engaging. If you want to seem and feel more outgoing, try raising your energy. Do you know someone who radiates positive energy? What kind of things do they talk about? How do they move? Visualize yourself behaving in a similar way, and experiment playing that role in social settings.

Listen to some charismatic people. Monotonous voices are dull and draining to the ear, so vary your tone and volume in conversation. Express yourself using your body, not just your words. High-energy people tend to appear animated. They let their faces show their emotions and use hand gestures to emphasize their points. Practice your gestures in a mirror to get the balance right.

Try to get some exercise every day and eat a balanced diet that makes you feel energetic. End a conversation while the energy in the room is still high. Make the other person feel good about themselves. Take every possible opportunity to practice basic social skills, such as small talk and using open body language. Practice with coworkers, neighbors, and anyone else you see regularly. In time, they could become friends.

Dog parks, cafes, gyms, libraries, and launderettes are all excellent places for meeting new people. Everyone is there for a particular purpose, so you already have something in common. Look on meetup. Maintain your existing friendships while meeting new people. Dare to be the one who makes the first move. For example, instead of ordering all your groceries online, go to the store, and use the opportunity to make small talk with the cashier. Ask friends and colleagues to introduce you to other people with similar interests.

As you become more confident, you can also become a connector. This can be the first step toward building a group of friends. Funny people are usually keen observers of the world around them. They point out contradictions and absurdities that make everyone see things in a new way. The funniest remarks are usually spontaneous and arise naturally from a situation. Watch funny films and TV shows. Do not copy jokes or stories, but observe how characters deliver great lines and why they are effective.

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New workplaces, new food sources, new medicine--even an entirely new economic system. I also hate talking in large groups; I usually just listen, and only give my opinion when asked. I decided to pretend to be extroverted for a week with the thought that it was temporary. First, I had to understand the difference between being shy and being an introvert.

At a party, for example, an introvert stands to the side because they prefer to be there. They have friends, but they prefer social functions that are smaller and more sedate. Shy people, on the other hand, stand to the side at a party because they feel they have no choice, says Carducci. It would just take practice. The first thing to do was to realize that the conversation process is not random. You can learn this. Your Privacy Rights.

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We and our partners process data to: Actively scan device characteristics for identification. I Accept Show Purposes. I feel so energized. I really enjoy talking and getting to know people one-on-one. The whole crowd scene is a bit overwhelming though.

I wish I could just go home. It is exhausting being around all these people, and I am too nervous to talk to anyone.

Who can I find to talk to? Maybe I should text someone. I wonder what Jenny is doing tonight. I love being at the library. I want to learn about so many topics. Maybe I should chat with the librarian, I bet they are a wealth of knowledge. I can hide my nose in a book and read all day. When the phone rings Oh!